who knows what could happen

I woke up this morning realizing I'm not a kid anymore! How'd that thought freak me out of my bed, directly looking myself in the mirror trying to figure out what I'm all about and what will I be in 10 years time? Where will I be? Till when will I walk around with my hands thrown up in the air, cause I just don't care? I can't ever run and hide. I won't close my eyes anymore. This is reality. I need to plan things in my life. Though I know it's gonna be hard but I need to try. I can't believe I'm only realizing these important point in life where I should be serious in what I do. Is this what they would call it a turning point? Maybe I'm just going with the flow of time to think about life in a different way.
Why, oh why am I still doing nothing? jobless, not continuing my study, and lingers around with a routine which is "NOTHING"
and I feel so useless! I need something good to rely on, something for me. I can't continue being 'nothing' cause I'm not in Kindergarten no more. Where you didn't have anything to worry about, you have your parents to settle things out and figure what you need to do. You can even play all day long if that's what you prefer. no worries at all. but, we all became older as time pass by and  things change.

pouring my heart out~

Time goes by as if it was only yesterday i sat on the bed alone staring at the phone. now, i'm going back reminiscing few weeks back when I enjoyed laughing and crying. those moments that flies like shooting stars. life's simple, it's things that revolve around us and the way we handle it makes it complicated. i'm trying to find the right words here to pour my heart out, cause there're so many things going on now and i'm overwhelmed.

Way back when:

10/09/2010 > celebrated my "Hari Raya Aidilfitri" at Kundasang, Ranau. not many photos were taken, just few so here:

From left back: ajiri, bulan, delipin
front: apis, me

LOL!

wonderful friends~

with Slice of Pizza, my sweethearts <3

Happy hour! at Apis's jamming room

I spent 10 days in Kundasang, Ranau. Enjoying every minute of it. On the 2nd day of "hari raya", I went to Poring, Ranau. Thought it was gonna be fun, but the place was too crowded so wasn't really comfortable with all the 'people' around. anyway, on the 3rd day of 'hari raya' i went back to stay in Kundasang. I prefer being there. I love the weather, the food, friends, and the view is superb! no words i could fine to describe. being there makes me realize how wonderful it is to be around nature <3

It's a new day in Kota Kinabalu. Things are different. I just celebrated my 18th birthday yesterday, 20th September. I had a great night spent with friends enjoying and had a blast! beers, karaoke, sing along, dancing, funny stories sharing, 'drunk act' and laughs was enough as a gift for me. Since I was 14, I stopped celebrating but I guess turning 18 is different? LOL!

Apart of all the fun i was having, i got dump! i don't know what could be worse than got yourself dump on your birthday? still, what could be best? gotta keep on  thinking from different perspective. i do feel upset, but i need to be moving forward. maybe it's for the better. we weren't meant for each other and so being parted is the best for both sides. i just hope it won't be, "he said, she said". i admit i do make mistakes it wasn't fully his fault neither do mine. still, i don't want anymore GUILT TRIP! enough said.

and now, I'm hoping for a better tomorrow. nobody knows what's written for tomorrow so i'm crossing my fingers and will find a way for a better day (:

the idea of starting a blog!

never thought i'll be doing this. guess, my mind's too crowded with things i shouldn't be worrying about.
anyway, this's a first! i need to be use to this blog 'thingy'. everything starts with a first right? this blog will be about life. everything i pour my heart into, things i would love to be craping here. it's my blog anyway. i'll post whatever i want! hahahaha.
end.

p/s: i'll think about something on the next post (:

ENJOY!